I Have Found the One My Heart Loves...

I Have Found the One My Soul Loves

For those of you I have never met, my name is Lindsay Marcoux. We all have so many different ways we can introduce ourselves, and I love to share the most important things first. I love Jesus, and want to love others the way he continues to teach me to. Jacob Marcoux is my best friend and the handsome man that has made me a wife, and Charlie (4 years old) and Bryer (almost 2 years old) are the beautiful little ladies that give me the title "Mommy.”

Growing up, I always dreamed that my life had the potential to be a fairytale. After all, "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" and "Tale as Old as Time" were the lyrics I lived my life by. It didn't take long, however, to discover that fairytales also include heartbreak and pain, it's part of what makes them beautiful. My image of happily ever after was tainted by the separation and divorce of my parents when I was eleven, and I realized that "good" people can do some pretty hurtful and shameful things. My dream, after all, was to someday be a wife and mom, but if my parents weren't able to make it work, what made me think that I could? Mom and Dad were happy once, I truly believe that, but their happily ever after never happened. As a young teenager, a fear set in and anxiety built and I wasn't sure that I would ever find my fairytale ending... still, I kept on dreaming of my Prince Charming and “true love.”

As I grew, I found a safe place. A summer camp where I learned and was shown so much about how relationships really can work, but only with the proper foundation. I realized after learning from a now father figure in my life that a relationship is destined to fail if it isn't built to glorify God. The only way to find the “true love” I was hoping for someday was to make a choice to do just that. My happily ever after was not the only objective; instead, I needed to seek holiness in a marriage someday and build on my relationship with Christ first, and the rest would follow.

 From there, I made a list of qualities that were needs and wants, and I was very specific with what I wanted in a future husband. Throughout high school, I began writing letters to him and praying for him specifically, even though I didn’t wasn’t confident of his name. I realized that I wasn't going to ever date just to date, but that if I was going to commit to something, I would be certain that it was for the long-haul. The product, my Charming, was worth the struggle and wait that it took to get there.

At one point, I thought I had found my heart’s desire. My senior year of high school, and my first year of college were spent in a relationship with someone who I thought was my best friend, I had an idea of what true love looked like, and ended up giving away a piece of my heart too soon. The longer I was in a relationship, the more I realized there were red flags that were obvious to others, but not to me. I knew that I was best friends with this person, but didn’t realize that our relationship wasn’t all that I thought it was, one that honored God and one that was looked at by others as “healthy” without question. Eventually I found out that I was being lied to and realized I needed to return to square one, where my relationship with Christ had to come first. When I reflect on those years, I can still smile and know that God has perfect timing and wants abundance for our lives, and I knew that he would make true to his promises in his time.

After my first year of college, my twin sister, Erica and I worked at the same summer camp where we learned about relationships as children years before. We also decided we were too far away from each other at the colleges we attended; the result-- we both transferred to the University of Maine at Farmington (UMF) where I planned to get a degree in Elementary Education. During our orientation weekend, the only other person we knew on campus invited us to a group on campus called InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (IVCF). We loved Jesus, and she mentioned free ice cream, so we immediately agreed to show up. We were beyond excited to find a supportive community of others on campus who love Jesus as well, and we also met the President of the club (the incredibly handsome) Jacob Marcoux. He was at the door, introducing himself to all the new freshman and transfer students, he had vibrant blue eyes, was wearing his hat backwards, sporting a brown sweatshirt, ripped jeans, and bare feet (Side note: I don’t always remember what people are wearing the first time I meet them).

On the way home from the ice cream social that evening, I quickly checked with my sister to make sure she wasn’t attracted to him (we had only ever been interested in the same guy once, and I didn’t want to repeat that), and mentioned that I thought he seemed like a really great guy. At that point, I didn’t know just how great! She shared that she thought he seemed like a solid person, and encouraged me to pursue a friendship with him.

          The school year was off and running, and Erica and I continued to show up at the InterVarsity meetings and events. We quickly got to know other students there and form friendships, most of which we still maintain today. About a month into the school year, I reached out to Jake and asked how I could pray for him more specifically, and the response I got was very sweet. He told me that he was thankful that I reached out, we shared a little more about ourselves, and he mentioned that he was enjoying our new friendship and asked if I wanted to spend a little more time getting to know him. After I peeled myself up off the chair (okay, that may be a little dramatic), my sister helped me write a response that didn’t let on how interested I was. The next week, we went out to Farmington House of Pizza together and attended an open mic night at Wicked Gelato. This was also the day I discovered I liked green pepper pizza, and decided I was a vegetarian to impress him. After going on a month-long missions internship with IVCF to Uganda, he had sworn off meat. Although I somehow missed that this was our first “official” date, our relationship began to blossom into a relationship unlike any that I had experienced before.

          There I was, time flying by, and I found myself checking things off the list of needs and wants for a future husband. He loved Jesus more than himself, it was clear he loved children by the amount of time he spent working at summer camps and after-school programs, he loved to travel, spent time playing sports, it was evident that he loved his family, and he was getting his degree in Secondary Education with a concentration in English, which meant he loved to read as well! What I was beginning to love about him the most, though, was that his heart was in the right place. He had a desire to grow and challenge himself daily, and his goal was to show others who Jesus was by the way he lived his life, the way he served, and the way he loved other people. I found out quickly that diving into a relationship was the last thing on his to-do list that year, but we both felt God working as we started to get to know each other. Before I knew it, I couldn’t picture what my days looked like without him in them. We met each other’s families over Christmastime, his mom was intimidating at first, but I quickly started to love his family as well, and everything seemed to be falling into place.

          Our relationship wasn’t your average dating relationship. Like mentioned earlier, I wasn’t in this just to date, but I wanted my relationship to be God-honoring, and lead to marriage rather than just another date. For that reason, I was very strict with areas of purity, especially at first. I think he asked me for the first five months if he could kiss me before I finally said he could. I’ll also never forget the first time he said, “I love you.” All I could seem to respond with was, “Thank you.” It took me another month before I returned the sentiment. We also knew it was important to be careful with time spent alone together; we avoided time in his dorm room alone, and spent lots of time in public with others. In fact, most of our late-night chats were spent in my car, in a public parking lot on campus directly across from his dorm under a lamp post. Other nights, Jake had RA duties in his dorm, and I worked on homework in the office connected to the common-area of the building.

         

          It was February when we really started to talk a little more about our future, he set up an elaborate Valentine’s Day, which consisted of me getting notes and roses from him throughout the day, and following the trail back to my house where he had dinner prepared and a very frazzled Lindsay to deal with. He thought I was cute because I was flustered from all the surprises, and I still have the teddy bear, Julius, he gave me with the year 2012 stitched on his foot.

 Following the eventful holiday, we went on a service trip to New Orleans and in March we signed our leases, each with separate people for the following school year. We weren’t sure what the next few months held, but I made it very clear that before Jake asked me to marry him, he needed to complete a checklist. Not only did he need permission from my daddy, but he also need permission from my “adopted dad,” the camp director who taught me what a relationship needs to survive. I knew if our mentors and people who invested time in us approved and had no qualms, I would be 100% okay with whatever questions Jake may or may not be asking me in the future. Apparently, he passed all the tests, because a few short weeks later, after pelting him with questions to see if he might have an idea about a ring size, he proposed after his RA duty, under our lamp post. I was so excited the only thing I could think to do was to wrap my arms around his waist. Eventually, he asked if I liked the ring and shared that he had chosen the gold band with a solitaire diamond because it reminded him of his mom. You can tell a lot about a man by how he treats and talks about his mother, after all. I melted into a puddle of emotions because not only was he perfect, but the ring matched the one I had admired on my mom’s finger the first 11 years of my life, and I knew that I would be able to wear her wedding band with it. I’m sure after spending a good chunk of change, he wanted to make sure I was okay with wearing it forever. He was also curious if I was actually going to answer his question, and of course, I said “YES!”

          The end of the school year came quickly, and we decided to work at the same summer camp to spend time together on our rare days off. We chose Saturday, August 25^th to be our wedding day, and because we were so busy at camp, my twin sister planned most of our wedding! We took a lot of shortcuts with our wedding to cut costs, my grandmother made the cake, my in-laws covered decorations, the hall, and the DJ, and my step-mom offered to make 30 lasagnas for our 300+RSVPS (Jake wanted a small, private wedding, but compromised), my mom helped me find my perfect princess, dress and her boyfriend had enough travel points to send us to Fort Lauderdale for a weeklong honeymoon before heading back to UMF. The only area we did not skimp on was our wedding party (however, having 12 bridesmaids was a LOT to manage)! We were elated because we knew our focus was on the “happily ever after” and not just the fairytale dream wedding.

          Every family’s story is unique, and I love sharing mine, especially the part where we found out in October that we were expecting a brand-new addition to our family, a true honeymoon baby! We knew that finishing school was a priority, and the timing was perfect to do so. Our first year of marriage was different than most peoples, as we finished up our schooling, had a roommate, and were expecting a baby, but God’s timing is perfect in all areas. He continues to bless our family as we continue to server him, and we are celebrating our 5^th anniversary this year. I am so incredibly blessed to have an amazing leader for a husband, and I love living life by his side. Our “happily ever after” will always have its challenges, but we know that our happiness is not always what is important as long as we are glorifying God and pursuing holiness along the journey.